Saturday, January 31, 2009

My Rebirth

Today I feel like sharing a story of my death and reacquaint with life. On July 11th, 2006 I swallowed a handful of pills after downing a bottle of wine with my fingers crossed in hopes I would never see tomorrow. Well next thing I saw was EMT's then I have few vague memories over the next 3-4 days then I was on a plane to a little place called Cordova where my family was at the time. On the plane a man turned around and after some small chit chat told me how he admired me for being a great mom, yes my son was next to me and I seemed like such a well mannered mommy, not a clue. I was like-wow-maybe, but little does the human face express if people aren't looking for it! I arrived in Cordova and 2 things happened of great significance which are the point of this story.
First my sister invites me to go for a hike to the reservoir, I was so excited, with a gun strapped to my hip to protect me from the fear i called 'Bear,' little did I know; we began our trek up the mountain and as we got deeper into the thick brush and trees I began to plead, let's just turn around, I was so afraid to confront my fear I called 'Bear.' But eventually after much coaxing and teasing by my sister who is 8 years younger than I, we popped out through the brush to a beautiful and serene, almost sacred reservoir of water surrounded by mountains and peace.
We stripped down into our suits and dove in, the chill was indescribable, the feeling unexplainable, but all my fear left me and I felt, i felt into the deepest pits of my being, the dark places that felt like they had never seen light, they felt, I felt. I culd see, I could see the purpose is to feel, not to avoid feeling, but to feel it, no matter how difficult a feeling may be, feel it and be grateful. I no longer named my fear 'Bear.' My fear had been the reconnection to myself, to have my spirit back, it had been disconnected for so long and I was fighting it with all my might, deep down my disconnected being knew what await me atop the tree line and it fought it.
I had killed myself, I had accomplished what I had set out to do. And I am so very grateful I did. I was lead to my reconnection to my spirit, mind, body and soul; From there I walked down a path of light and healing and I remain on that path today.

Event number 2: Still in Cordova, my whole family loaded up in the truck and we drove to the glaciers and had a great day of sight seeing and on our way back to town we came across a coyote, it was eating something on the side of the road so we drove up slowly. The coyote was skiddish, but stayed close by. As we got closer we realized it had killed a swan and was eating it, as we looked closer the swan was jerking a litte, its neck was open, wing torn off, leg mangled, the coyote was eating it. Us girls appauled said 'its still moving its alive!!' Dad said 'no, its just nerves', we said 'yeah right!!' Dad again said' girls its just nerves, look at it, its dead!' Well a few a minute or so later, maybe less that swan lifted its head and mustered all its strength and stood. It looked around a while reorienting itself with the living world than began to wobble its way towards the truck, it stopped momentarily when next to the truck, looked up and honked, continued walking and disappeared into the brush.
We were all thinking it and I knew, Mamma Universe had spoken. Do not deny your will to live, accept it and live; no matter what.
That swan despite all odds chose life in the face of death and days earlier I had chosen death in the face of life. I was wrong and the message was clear. It was time to Live and I have been living ever since. If only you can imagine the significance of that occurrence, it was truly awe inspiring. Everyone looked at me as if the message had been to all of us, and we all understood.

I am grateful everyday I chose to live and my life has been full of blessings and gratefulness ever since. I too months later faced death as a man used his body to try to break mine, but I had a will, the will to live and no one would take that away from me. I chose life, strength, and to rise above. I fought for my life, because finally it was my most precious possession. I am now amongst the ones who Live, who truly live and are grateful for it. I do not share this with many people, because many people would not understand it, but it is here for those who may and even those who may not, but you never know when something read will resurface when needed.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Smiles & Salutations

I am currently detoxing and enjoying it so much! Detoxing fats as well on my no-fat week!! Feels so progressive!! I made my son some nutty-oatmeal-carob cookies in the dehydrator yesterday and he loved them, oh sweet temptation, but I resisted. I am so thrilled when he enjoys raw foods!! It's hard coming from a family of junk food and meat meat meat to where I am now!!!

My motto for 2009 is NO EXCUSES and I plan on remembering it. I am prepping my kitchen for some serious raw meals to come, trying my best at sprouting, but not sure its my specialty just yet!! I tried to make corn chips for post-detox chips and salsa- but it was so sticky I couldn't get them out!!!! Ah there's always time to try again!! I am stocking up on raw recipes that look irresistable!! I am looking forward to my new home of comfort and peace, I will feel so much ease as I no longer have to deal with other peoples poor eating habits directly influencing Travinn in his home! Being a mom takes some clever thinking, I don't need any more obstacles....

Soon to come: My Evolution of Eating....

Dear Digital Boy in Your Fast Paced Whirl World

How do you surround yourself with artificial frequencies, fast food, and mind controlling television, high above the streets in your cement walls and wonder why you feel so disconnected? How do you live day to day without the interaction of other living energies, drowning your sorrows into a lifeless screen? Have we forgotten where we came from? Do we not remember the dust outside is where our bodies were born? We were once simple creatures living simple lives- If we just take a moment to remember we know where to find the answers....

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Where I Be....

Strawberry~Carob Love
  1. Sliced Strawberries
  2. Carob Powder
  3. Banana
  4. Agave Nectar
  • Puree 2-4 to taste and Dip some fruit slices in! Strawberries are Nice for Valentines!

Almond~Cumber Dip with Cucumber Slices
  1. Cucumber Slices
  2. Almond Butter
  3. Garlic Powder
  4. Onion Powder
  5. Agave Nectar
  6. Fresh Cilantro
  7. Cucumber Chunks
  • Puree 2-7 adding Cucumber to desired consistency, blend to taste

I am detoxing right now on fruits, veggies and green smoothies!! Loving life and ready to lose some weight, I have been acting like it's not an issue for too long and as much as I hate to admit it, I need to shed some weight.
I have set a realistic goal of losing 20 lbs. this year and being able to ride a bicycle without needing an inhaler this summer. The more I cleanse my body the more asthma is a mere memory instead of an everyday handicap like it used to be.
I am so close to being in my new home and I can only imagine the sigh of relief I will let out when I am moved in and sitting in all the wonder of my accomplishment. I am so happy its almost ridiculous- almost!!
I encourage everyone to open their eyes and BE CONSCIOUS!!
Much Love ~Kandis