Monday, December 7, 2009

The Key Ingredient to Joy: RAW Foods!


I'm finding inspiration all around me, In the simple things!
I love my son dearly. He is my inspiration for choosing a life lived to the highest potential. It is so easy to feed your kid healthy snacks and meals, be creative, make it fun, a melon bowl is a blast for toddlers! Start with fruits and veggie sticks, make fun shapes out of them, have a green smoothie tea party with your kids!!! Have fun and they will carry it with them into their adult lives!


Ooh lala! My first Yogurt experience!
Strawberry Coconut Frozen Yogurt
Coconut Yogurt:
Meat of 3 young coconuts
3 capsules of probiotics
blended until creamy, placed in bowl with cover and set out at room temperature for 2-3 days
* will be quite sour
When done, blend yogurt with frozen strawberries, sweetener optional; use agave or soaked dates or raw honey!
So delicious, simple and good for you!!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thank You Thanksgiving!



My weekend has been truly wonderful!! My sister and I were busy busy Wednesday Night making all sorts of raw creations! Fajitas, cheesecake, kale chips, green bean casserole, mango tart, corn salad, Cheys Slammin' Salad and a whole bunch more! Then my sweet heart showed up with Beautiful sunflowers, oh how he shines in my life! We had a great evening together then Thanksgiving day came along and oh the things I am thankful for!! There are an endless amount of things I am grateful for, but today I am going to focus on the events of Thanksgiving day.







I dressed up my handsome little man in t-shirt and jeans, dress shirt underneath, we're casual-dress-up like that! He's my love-bug, I am so eternally grateful for the joy this little boy brings and shares with me










I am also so very grateful for my extended family, I went to an aunt and uncles home for our 2pm dinner and had a wonderful time seeing people I haven't seen for a while, small talkin it and sharing joy. To be surrounded by people who are interested in how I am and what I am doing as well as being supportive.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A Lot of Honest. What is Family?

I do not come from Love

Time to stop hiding from my reality. The emotional and mental abuse I endured growing up is real and has lasting effects. I work hard everyday to be the best person I can be and for these experiences I am grateful.


I do not come from a place of love. love and appreciation have been journeys to learn and express, something lacking, something I desired for so very long. . I have never felt appreciated in my relationships, family or romantically. I finally realize why, without those bonds growing up, it was a struggle to find what I needed, when what I needed was so unfamiliar.

But standing in my light, my truth: love, I release shadows from my life and with the shadows, sometimes whole persons. I am so very grateful for my wonderful friends who are more my family than ever before. I choose love and I love well. I choose to be supported. I choose love; plain and simple. If you can not love me, then don't try to stand in my light, it is much too bright.

My mother never liked me growing up. She currently shows interest in my son, but not me. she used to hit me and kick me all the time, called me a bitch the whole time i was growing up, told me i was the reason she was unhappy and how she would have had a great life if i were never born. She was never interested in the things I did; she has never liked me or acted like she was proud of me. It hurts very much, but on her own journey she must walk, may light find its way into her heart as I find myself releasing her from mine.

My father is an irrational fool, says things that aren't true when he knows damn well they aren't. He told me a few years ago that he wished he had drowned me when I was born, that I am a piece of shit and so is my sister.
I do not come from love, I come from complete meanness, it was cruel the way my parents have chose to treat me and it hurts, the hurt doesn't just go away because I have accepted it over the years, it still feels open and on occasion they rub some salt in it too. But only if I am around, aha! Thus the need to remove myself from the situation.

I have never been appreciated by anyone in my family except Cheyenne. Being around them I feel unwanted and unloved; so why would I keep making them a significant part of my life or my sons? that kind of treatment has no place in my happiness.

"This is your father, well the guy that used to be your father, if you have any shit over here you'd better get it out by today, I am erasing your number from my phone as soon as I hang up and I will no longer have any contact with you. And if you can let that little Bitch Cheyenne make you treat your mother the way you did and let her treat your mother the way she does than I don't need anything to do with either of you ever again, FUCK YOU."
-this is the voicemail I received because my sister chose to move out of the house after a heated argument stemming from my sister and mother talking about how I fall short of good parenting, which they see my son maybe an hour a week if that! So she has come to stay with me for a while. And as a result of the past month of issues and slowly disconnecting myself from them, I decided to not go to thanksgiving. The voicemail is in response to my horrible treatment of my mother by calling her and explaining to her I will not be coming to Thanksgiving, then she did the mature thing and hung up on me; yes I am quite horrible for acting maturely right?please!

Does that sound like love? or like a father? or a mother? I am confused. I don't think I have ever been truly loved by my parents and it saddens me so deeply. I want to love, support and honor my son, I can't fathom treating my child the way my parents treat me.

I have 2 other siblings that treat my mother like a slave, curse at her, yell at her, tell her what a piece of shit she is, ask and receive money constantly and yet, I am repeatedly told that Cheyenne and I are the ones that treat her badly; what the fuck? i mean seriously, what the fuck? The other all out brawls we've had in the past were over, yes every time, over how one of my siblings treat my mom and Cheyenne or i chose to stand up for her, only to be slapped back down by her and the rest of them .
It hurts, but hopefully walking my path without their anger and cruelty will be a blessing.

Holidays are something I hope can be filled with joy and happiness, I want my son to know love, love that honors and respects one another. Holidays in my life were represented by a few things; #1 family coming together, #2 fighting and arguing, #3 my mother stressed out and miserable over something; not my idea of holiday family love! I want more for my son and my self. This thanksgiving I find so many doors of love opening to my son and I and I am grateful for each of them. I will be with my son, the love of my life and my sister, I will be happy, for I choose those who love me.
I choose to believe and act in a way that supports love and respect. What is family? family are those people in my life who offer me love, advice, concern and support. I am trying to release this burden I have carried for so long called family-loyalty, but finally I have the tools I need: I realize that my definition of family needs a little tweaking.

Friday, November 6, 2009

By the Grace of the Universe

I
am
Completely,
Perfectly,
Truthfully
and
Comfortably
Me,
Even
When
I
Am
with
You

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Food For My Thoughts


Lately I've been doing a bazillion things and lacking focus. Falling in love, Improving my mothering skills, making dinner a sit down time, writing books, planning a dreamy vacation, daydreaming about my future, setting intentions, Starting a business, maintaining friendships: Time to Prioritize! I have been extremely lethargic lately, especially with the light fleeing the Alaskan winter days, so I am making a better effort to eat more greens, veggies and mushrooms; and I am already feeling better, so it must be time to share some more recipes!!!
(ABOVE) Flax Crackers & Energy Soup
Flax Crackers
2 cu soaked flax seed
2 medium tomatoes
1/2 cu pumpkin seeds
Chili Powder
Pinch of Salt
* Process then dehydrate overnight
Energy Soup
1 Apple
2-3 cu Spinach
sm head of Broccoli
1/4 cu Hemp Seeds
1 cu sprouts
1 Avocado
chili powder
garlic powder
sea salt
*Blend with enough water to make soupy consistency. Dehydrate left overs and use as a 'tortilla' for a delicious meal!


Pumpkin Coconut Dream topped with Chia Mix
3 cu Pumpkin
Flesh of 1 young coconut
6-9 Soaked dates
Water for consistency (date soak water)
Cinnamon
Nutmeg
Cloves
*Blend together until Creamy, refrigerate to set
Chia Mix
Chia Seeds
Pumpkin Seeds
Hemp Seeds
Dried Cranberries







Travinn helping make a delicious Apple breakfast from Stephanies blog! http://rawliciousbarbie.blogspot.com/2009/10/recovering-procrastinator.html





Spice Up Your Alaskan Nights!
Cashews (soaked for a few hours)
Spinach
Mushrooms
Ginger
Garlic
Cayenne
Turmeric
Nama Shoyu or Amino acids (optional)
Sea salt
Curry Powder
Big Squeeze of Lemon
* toss and enjoy

My son is amazingly thoughtful! Bought me calalilies today!! One of my favorite flowers, for four years old he knows me pretty damn well!

This is my dream manifesting into my reality. I am humbled by the blessings in my life.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Holding Fast to My Beliefs

I offer no apologies for the choices I make in life. And against the grain is how I roll, not because its easy, no, ignorance is blissful, Too bad I am way beyond that! Its difficult being the minority, an entire society of norms that I won't be a part of, its not easy. But the rewards I reap for my persistence are awe inspiring.
I came from the life of misery, depression, obesity, hopelessness, asthma, disconnect....All of these things are a part of peoples everyday lives, not ours, and they shouldn't be a part of yours either. I make my choices to honor my body and spirit, the spirit I was once lost from. A will not falter for I cannot fail.
Yesterday I was mocked because I made a comment about a cooked dish sounding good! Well this particular dish is something that has very nostalgic memories of family, love and my grandparents, I did not eat it, but yesterday it sounded real good; however my thoughts always spin past a craving into, 'how will my body react to this?' and it wouldn't be good. Yesterday I had the best Sunday morning I recall, laying in the arms of love, gazing into the eyes of honesty and understanding, walking away from that joy and into a house of mockery and judgement really doesn't work for me, I don't deserve to be ridiculed for personal lifestyle choices that don't even affect these people (well maybe it does on an internal level, I suspect my choices create an avenue for them to look at their own choices and possibly thats where the resentment comes from).
I choose beneficial foods to put in my body, I am more in touch with my spirit, my true desires in life, and all of my family here on earth vibrating at a higher frequency than the 'most.' I created my life and to be where I am feels glorious. I will not live in a house with chemicals, they are unnecessary, harmful and toxic not only to the earth but to our own health; there are alternatives. I will not wash my body or slather my body in toxic cosmetics and body products. I will not raise my self or my son in a house where coffee, soda, dairy, commercially farmed animal products and junk food are staples. Our home should be a reflection of our body- not full of harmful substances that disconnect us from our higher selves and hold the potential to kill us. And trust me they do! You can find this out on your own if you simply remove the pollutants from your life, emotional, chemical, dietary, and relationship. One huge pollutant is negativity, another thing I can't raise my consciousness or my sons in the constant presence of. I don't watch the news, I don't listen to death metal, these things are filled with energy sucking negativity- what happy person needs that?

I am unwavering, not close minded, on my choices to detoxify my life in every aspect, So far I have found it easiest to live alone. I get lonely, but I will not settle for less than I deserve. (this is general by the way, not directed at anyone) I hope for consciousness to attract its way to me and I am so grateful for my raw community, although lately I have been a little closed in, but I am missing them already!
Surround yourself with love, nature and positive relationships and let your light shine!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Path of the River: Mirrors



The river waters run over, through, around, atop, below and against the rocks and roots and obstacles in its way. Nature doesn't provide a smooth, obstacle free path; we are intended to learn.



I find that relationships with loved ones, although they tend to grow over the years, the patterns remain the same for they are deep rooted. I have found that certain people in my life, that I love dearly, don't suit my needs, they don't provide the harmony I seek in relationships. To come away from an encounter knowing that someone begrudges you for your happiness, doesn't support you, thinks your thoughts and ideas are invalid and has unfounded opinions of you, it leaves me drained and unhappy.

Dear so n so female, you have always been a constant wall in my life, you never accepted me for the person I am and have been, you judge me harshly, you fault me for your unhappiness, you don't say kind words to me, your support is false if ever present. I am surprised the more conscious I become that two people so intertwined by biology can vibrate on such different levels and yours is so low that it feels like I am drained every time I am around you, this is a feeling I avoid in all other people, if someone drains me, I remove them from my life, but like I said, we are intertwined, but all threads can become unraveled. And yes, I understand that you are a mirror to my fears, but these fears were instilled upon me by you during my upbringing and in order for this melancholy relationship of ours to grow or be less damaging to me emotionally, something must change, for I am unwilling to to continue this way.

Dear so and so male, I find your ignorance and stupidity astounding. The truth of the matter is, I am smart, I do know what I am talking about if I am talking about it. To realize that I have more knowledge in some aspects than you was a hard fact for me to face, but it is blatantly obvious. You choose not to validate my knowledge, you choose to ignore my truth, you choose not to listen, you try to belittle me- as if words like stupid and moronic and idiot really effect me anymore, I am a being of light who has much knowledge and love to give, if you don't want to receive then by all means, don't waste your time, or mine. I am sad to see you ignore truth, but your path is your own and I don't want your constant negativity to be a part of my life.


Dear sweet child, I do my best by you and in return I see you falling into behaviors of my own child hood, I don't know if you have been influenced by environment around you or not, but to be yelled at, hit, kicked and words spilling from your lips that literally made my heart feel as if it was shattering, its not bearable, mothering is the most rewarding and difficult thing I have ever done. I fill your path with love and support and I pray very much that you find in me the tools you need to find an everlasting life of happiness.



















Who I am, I find myself judged for my choices so often, that on occasion I feel the need to sit back and analyze my life. I am a strong woman who believes in love, I want a life filled with love, happiness, support, growth, equality, partnership and joy. I don't need make up to feel pretty, I have nothing to hide. I like to wear my hair messy, I'm keeping the twine I braided and knotted in for Halloween, cause I like it. I like to wear my septum ring. I like my tattoos to show. I like to let my weirdness flow and yell as loud as I can, often, for no apparent reason. I like that I say random things and few people understand me, although I am constantly seeking those who do. I like to wear my yoga pants with no underwear and wear over sized wool sweaters- and yeah, I do feel sexy when I'm wearing it! I don't feel obligated to fulfill others expectations of me. My boobs aren't perky, they used to be, I had a baby and have lost 70lbs, and no, I won't ever get a boob job because I am me, I am real, is there really a better way to be? Not for me (although I judge no one for making decisions that best suit their own happiness, whether they be choices I would make or not). I want to help others find more health, happiness and harmony in their lives, but not at the expense of my personal expression and self truth. I can't truly help others if I am suppressing pieces of me.


Love

So I recently made the conscious choice to find and embrace love. My fear is actually a need to be in control, to not be manipulated. As a result of my marriage I chose to be in control of all future situations so I couldn't be controlled, manipulated or abused ever again. 

Ahh, releasing that hindrance felt wonderful, with realization comes such great freedom. I choose to love equally and respectfully, honestly and in a way that preserves my self truth as well as his. I choose healthy love for the first time in all of my life. And I am grateful that my mirror chooses me.



Thursday, October 22, 2009

A Light to Illuminate the The Dark







Light shining bright,



Illuminating the Grey,



Ask and Recieve,



Choosing to believe,



I am grateful,



I am light,



I am sunbeam in a field,



A sparkle in the Night Sky,



Reason for Diamonds Streaming Down my Face,



Heart Pounding so Hard I swear it grew Wings,


Yellows and Greens Swirling through my soul,


Sweet Light Illuminating my Heart,


Thank You


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Had Nots & Have Nows

HAD NOTS
I had not love, I had not true friendship, I had not sincerity, I had not support, I had not understanding, I had not Love.
Today on my last day of work enjoying the lovely commute home, I was thinking about how much joy is in my life and how much it has to do with the relationships I surround myself in.
I used to date men that told me I was beautiful, right before they told me how no one would ever put up with me or love me other than them, they accused me of things that weren't true, they lied to me, they never understood me, they called me names, we'll leave the physical abuse vague, but you get the point, I had a hard time loving me and all I attracted were people who wanted to keep me down and hate myself so I was always there with them, too meek to leave. I knew the hurtful things they said and did were wrong, but after a while, it's hard not to think they're right and I was crazy for thinking I was better than that. Being told something over and over doesn't make it true, but sometimes it makes it believable. I didn't feel I deserved to be treated well. I didn't experience genuine feelings towards me, they were manipulative and I felt trapped and unhappy, for years. Emotionally I was caged because my feelings were never validated. The lack of sincerity was a constant hardship on my mind and things were only done for me so they could be used against me later. I was nothing more than an object, so easily mistreated and discarded. These relationships took so much of my light away from me. Finally I was ready to break free, never easily mind you, I stayed way too long, went back way too many times and allowed myself to be hurt over and over again. I was always yearning for more with a big hole in my soul where fulfillment should be, a constant hopelessness.
Finally: NO MORE
And My HAVE NOWS
I have now abundant love, abundant light, abundant friendship, abundant genuineness and all because I realized I deserve it. And I do, just as everyone does, but the mutual respect, honesty, openness and kind caring I am experiencing in a relationship- wow, unbeatable, believable, with effort, but unbeatable. I am so fulfilled in every aspect of my being. I am more conscious than I have ever been. I am open, honest and understood. I am excited about living and all the possibility!
My Sex, yes my sex, I am having the best sex of my life, the best I have ever experienced, EVER. The kind of sex I yearned for, the kind of lover I dreamed of, the kind of lover I thought may only ever live in my dreams, but finally- sex tied into all aspects of me and him and our bond, the physical sex, the emotional sex, the mental sex, the spiritual sex, the connection between us on all levels, ahh. Sex can be good with anyone, but to be mind blowing the best ever, this only happens when you have an amazing connection, mutual feelings and true honesty with not only each other, but within ourselves.
I have always been a fan of the 'falling in love' stage, as every woman is, but I want more, been asking people in long lasting relationships lately if its possible to remain in love, with very positive feedback, ah the Hope inspired! I look forward to someday looking into someones eyes and realizing just how in love I still am with this person, years and years later, the falling part is still there because growth never ceases, I look forward to the falling, the staying, the growing, and allowing.
All my dreams come true, just the way of the universe I suppose, I am living in this magic and I feel blessed.....

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Hello Little Girl, What are You Waiting For?

Ah, looking around I notice my messes, my actual clutter, more specifically the clutter that fills my car, i think all things are tied to emotions, so I ponder, why the clutter, physical clutter represents emotional personal clutter, aha! Why would I want clutter, well not that I want it but it is one of those safety net things, If I have clutter in my thoughts, physical life and A huge to do list bigger than I can handle, I never have to follow through with anything because I have too much on my plate. Well I have hit that point in my life where I am truly ready to de-clutter, when everything is organized I gain focus and focus is what I need right now. Without the clutter I can ACCOMPLISH, yay, what usually I set out to do and s-l-o-w-l-y move towards, I am ready to grab it, finish it and move on.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Releasing and Reacting with Forethought

I find that my fears are continually reflected back to me in every relationship I encounter, friendships, work relationships, romance, all of them bring up the issues I need to release from my self. It is such free flowing work, everyday I grow immensely and this forward momentum feels fantastic, frustrating from time to time, but fantastic.
I finally feel I have the support I need in my life to grow in healthy ways that benefit not only myself but all of my relationships.
I create my reality and I carry in me the knowledge that the Universe delivers to me the things I truly want and need, for all of these blessings I am so grateful.
I choose to meet you in the here and now, the you you are in the present day, my gift to you, lets walk forward and allow the shaping of our lives to be as it is and create new, allow the past to quietly live where it belongs and not be a shadow on the present or future.
I choose to act not defensively, as has been my habit for years, but to react and act with forethought about who I truly am and what I truly want. Sounds simple but treating others as you'd want to be treated is usually what we lack. We tend to project and displace and act in fear...I choose not to.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Raw Potluck October!!!

Who Knew RAW could look so Good? Delicious Day of great company and fantastic food!!!
The drumming Children

The Baby Girl Knows Whats Good for Her, Durian!

Ginger-Lemon-Garlic Mushrooms on Bok Choy



Cheyenne's First Detox Foot Spa

Pierre at the Beginning of his Foot Bath






The Nastiness thats no longer in His Body













Green Crackers and Some Yummy Nummy Dip





Figgy Pudding



Moms Contribution, So So Beautiful




Strawberry Banana Pudding











Jicama & Tomato topped with Spinach Nectarine Sauce










Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A Toast with Travinn to Change!!

I feel like all the love around me swept me in this direction of manifesting. I litterally allowed myself to believe in something and tonight I sat there and watched it materialize in front of me, my spirit is like 'whoah' right now.
My life is incredible, the things I want are coming to me in amazing ways, my son is gettinig more of my time, I am about to embark on my small business venture, I have the tools and support I need, I have a boyfriend who quite frankly is turning into one of the best friends I could ask for, I am so me with him it really can't be put into words; I appreciate him, so, so very much and I am glad he stepped into my life to support me in this journey.
Life is good baby, my house, my family, my love, my self, my everything is right where it should be and it's oozing joy!!!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

My To Do List

I've got the whole world, in my hands....


My Future


1. Finish BS in Natural Health


2. Finish writing Books


3. Publish Books


4. 10 Day Fast on Spring Water and Green Juices after Work is Over


5. Daily Affirmations


6. Teach a Class on Natural Health Every Week


7. Hold Monthly Raw Potlucks


8. Do Foot Spa Treatments


9. Open 'Mariah~Moon Wellness Center'


10. Finish MS in Natural Health


11. Certified Herbal Consultant


12. Teach Chakra Balancing/ Guided Imagery


13. Learn to do Herbal Body Wraps


14. Sale ArtWork


15. Buy property at Lake Louise for My Family


16. Erase someones Monetary Debt Completely (a gift I want to give, don't know who yet)


17. Build a Living Space for Conscious Folks to live as a community

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Post Energy Healing Session Thoughts


So this session and self healing work happens to coincide with a new and blossoming friendship with a man who is unlike any I have met before, so in light of that their is some extra thought put into relationships and what I deserve from one and what I am willing to give, so this entry may not make much sense, but in the end it is a means to a conclusion...

I want honest communication, genuine connection and I am ready for something in my life that is significant and magnificent and I am unwilling to settle for anything less.

I enjoy holding hands, feeling adored, being understood, loved, desired and knowing that I make the one I choose to be with just as equally happy.

I know that in the past I have attracted broken people because of my tendency to heal/help and because of that I am setting limitations, I choose to attract people that give and receive, not take.

I am a new person from the one I was before, no one has ever been loved by the person I am today and in that realization I see the great potential in my gift of love and although I give it freely, I also give it wisely.

I am conscious, available and ready for the joy life is bestowing upon me.

I choose to be with someone that understands I have lived a life before them and passes no judgement on me for this, that they are accepting, loving and understanding, that we meet in a place of true sincerity and acceptance in all ways.


I surround myself in a community of love and support. The people I know and meet enhance my life in positive ways. I know love on a deeper level than I have ever known before. I love my friends, my family and my enemy, for I know we are all one. I make time for all of my loved ones to ensure they know my love.

I forgive my mother for the way she loved me and I release all anger towards her. I am grateful for the pain I have felt and the hardships I have endured. I forgive 'him' for choosing to not be a husband or a father and I understand that he did not use me, he could only take what I gave. I release my anger towards Robert and choose to release him from my thoughts.

To ignore something is refusal to grow. I choose to look upon all aspects and issues in my life with certainty that acceptance and understanding lead to healing.

I live in Abundance

Monday, September 21, 2009

Sexuality vs. Spirit

My blog is my outlet for pure honesty and self disclosure: you may learn things you don't want to know about me.
I come from an ever evolving sexual definition. I began as a silly girl in love, making love, turned into a girl who had sex to fill the holes in her heart, became monogamous and loved, fell in love with sex, had sex with people to hurt someone I loved at one time, a bout of celibacy, back to monogamy, more celibacy, monogamous sexual relationship with someone I didn't love or want in my life, back to a tinny bout of celibacy, and have decided that the emptiness I get after sex for the last year or so isn't worth having sex.
I am left with an emptiness only emotions can fill. Having sex without a mental, emotional or spiritual connection is draining to me, I can't find any value in the short minutes/ hours (all depends) of physical enjoyment. I am no longer a single thought being of simple sexuality. I need more.
I stand at a choice, I am not sure I even want to delve into a sexual 'event' without a strong sense of connectedness. On the other hand I have found sex that fulfills me, leaves me with no emptiness because a connection was established on other levels before the physical was explored. And upon exploring I discovered the feelings of being sincerely desired for who I am, not just a physical body and peace in my mind body and soul, when my actions are in alignment with my deeper self I evolve into personal harmony, a sense of fulfillment, knowing I am seen for more than just one facet of my self, I feel whole when I give and receive whole. A sense of true satisfaction.
When I have a purely sexual encounter with someone I give them a piece of my time, a bit of my mind and a part of my physical self, but when I am with someone who I feel an emotional bond to, I give them a piece of all of the above and a piece of my spirit. And I need to function on a spiritual level to maintain my wholeness.
So I wonder out loud, what draws me to purely sexual 'events' in my life when in the long run they don't fulfill me, is it habit or something more? I will act in a manner that appeases my sense of self and disharmony will just have to be my guide.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

In Love

I am in love, I am overjoyed, I am me.
There was a time not long ago when I stood in front of the mirror and all I could see was my face, I would purposely tune out the rest of my body because I loathed how I looked. With exercise, a raw foods diet and allowing the love I have for others to be reflected back to me, I finally love myself. I can look at my whole self in the mirror. I may not be perfect, but I love me for where and who I am right now in this moment, which is perfection to me.
I love my physical self, my emotional self, my spritual and mental self. I am committing to the goals I have set forth to accomplish and I am believing in my own success, allowinig the process.
I am manifesting the reality I choose to live in and it allows me endless amounts of self love. My life is a continual shifting from one vibration to the next and I climb higher and higher with each passing day. I am learning to allow love in my life in all shapes and forms it may be delivered. I am more open to possibility right now than I ever have been. Loving myself draws others towards me and I hope to share my light with as many as possible, but beware those of you looking to take, I do not plan on losing any of my light.
May our light grow and multiply together as beings of love... May self love be in the hearts of all those who cross my path...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Good Vibrations













I love life and above are some photos of the simple things that make my life so wonderful, the silliness, the silence, the sun, my son, our beautiful earth, moments with the ones we love the most, the colors that dance across my eyes when they fall upon the tundra...


I'm vibrating on high lately! Just thinking about the world and how we are all connected and vibrating in the same ball of energy, thinking about how each individuals energy is added to the others to create the overall energy. And how my choices in life contribute. Kirtan is powerful, I can only imagine if the whole world was filled with people loving life and being happy, the world would know no sorrow, we would exist in harmony!





Which leads me to my first reason for this post: DEAD THINGS





Life, Death and Consumption are a cycle. The dirt eats the dead plants and dead animals, Animals eat the dead plants, people eat the dead plants and animals, we all eat each other and putting a veggie in your mouth is still a dead/ dying food. In order to eat meat and plants, we as humans cut them off from their life source and consume them to give us life energy. This is a perfect balance. A few exceptions such as sprouts etc. i don't think meat is a good choice for humans to eat, but its not the killing/ dead part that bothers me. i really don't have a problem with people eating game and fish, that is their choice and i think hunting and fishing can be compared to gardening, working with the food you feel a connection that isn't there in a grocery store.





And on to commercially raised animals and animal by-products. I think this has HUGE impact in the energy of our world, mass amounts of animals being denied a natural environment, injected with hormones and antibiotics, overcrowded, their offspring taken from them, denied personal space, mutilated, beaten, deformed, murdered, and why? Their is no balance in it, no respect, complete disconnect and lack of thought, none of those things contribute any positive energy to the universe, suffering is not a good thing. The health problems associated with the consumption of animal proteins and dairy are overwhelming, its astonishing that we live in such a blind society. We feed food to the animals that could feed the people of their world. i pray people open their eyes and choose not to be a part of such negativity. Animals, like humans deserve life without such sorrow. And be it most people believe humans are somehow above animals, we all live, all things are living and I believe there is a balance in respecting one another, one that is not a part of commercial big industry farming. The sadness of these animals contributes to the sadness of the world, they are vibrating too. We could change the world if we stopped being a part of such a negative activity. Being a part of the problem doesn't allow for internal healing, to be conscious means in every aspect and it is a deep road to delve into, but the benefits are amazing, its like heaven on earth. Not eating commercially raised animals is a simple and extremely powerful contribution to the world. Be the Change.





And on to me, my choice to be whole and happy. I consciously choose to no longer maintain relationships with people who want to hurt me, physically, mentally or emotionally. To allow abuse in my life is to be abusive towards myself, I realize this now, took a bit of violence to see it clearly, but I am there now and I release all pain associated with abusers. I know what I deserve and in order to maintain my own harmony, I release me ties to those of you who have tried to pull me down, tried to break me, I am deserving of so much more. I am choosing to attract people full of life and love. I have no need for drama, I have my family, my home, my friends and my life that I create. I have a heart full of enough love to fill this whole world and I want to share. I attract opportunity and love life, this is my gift to the world, through my diet choices, mood choices, attitude choices and overall lifestyle choices, my choice to care, not selfishly, but genuinely care about all the life energy I am connected to... This is my gift to the universe, myself and you.





The more simple we live, the less chemicals and pollutants we put in our bodies, the easier it is to be whole, appreciative and truly find ourselves.





To heal the self, to facilitate healing in others, to be a vessel of healing, we must cleanse our thoughts, emotions, actions, physical bodies and minds of negativity. Cherish the simple beauty of nature, the love from a child, the passion in people dreaming, the lessons we have learned, so much beauty in front of you, choose to see. Consider the kind of energy you feed your body mind and soul. Be the Change

Sunday, September 13, 2009

BEST Energy Ionic Foot Bath

This is my first Session Photo, everyone's results are different, but its a great tool for detoxification, I am looking forward to helping as many people as I can with all the tools I now have!

Get your Detox on and Relax while doing it!!
$45/ session or $35 with a purchase of Natures Sunshine Products, contact me now and make an appointment!!


The BEST Energy Ionic Foot Bath is the highest performing ionic foot spa available that uses both positive and negative energy patterns in the foot bath to increase your natural detoxification process. Our bodies are delicate vehicles that strive to maintain a balance; a harmony of hydration and an even flow of detox. The influx of pollutants and carcinogens that flood our cities and are added to our food deter our bodies' natural detoxification processes. This can result in an increase in fatigue, immune deficiencies and many other health care issues.*Energy must be provided to balance the body.
The BEST Energy Foot Bath is an ionic foot bath that utilizes aircraft quality grade parts to boost bodily energy, allowing the body to reach its full potential! Positive and negative energy fields are transferred into the water and the body absorbs that energy. The energy is then used by the body to detox and cleanse. The BEST Energy Foot Bath starts the detoxification process on three levels: through the colon, urinary system, and skin; respectively.The energy provided by the foot bath is pure and clean and identical to the human body's needs.2003 Nobel Laureates Peter Agre and Roderick MacKinnon study the movement of energy through cellular ion channels. Their research linked reduced healthcare issues to increased amperes of energy in the body.The BEST Energy Foot Bath is the highest performing ionic foot spa available that uses both positive and negative energy patterns in the foot bath to increase your natural detoxification process. The energy recieved by the body from the holistic BEST Energy Foot Bath may result in boosting live blood cell levels and it might decrease symptoms of health challenges.
The BEST Energy Foot Bath works through the most basic and plentiful substances in your body, water.The human body is approximately 80% water. It functions by transferring electromagnetic signals. Similar to a car battery that charges a car, the human body may greatly benefit from being re-charged/energized. The BEST Energy Foot Bath recharges the body with electromagnetic signals that are transferred from the water module, into the foot spa, and then absorbed by the body. This cleansing foot spa is like having your own private mineral hot spring! Just add hot water and experience 30 to 35 minutes of energizing and relaxing detox.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Harvey's Song





...such a sad sad thing i set you free, cuz i can't get you back,

so tired of dreaming of you so many a night,

dreaming you see me for the me i have become, for the changes i have made and the someone i now am,

i seek to hold your hand,

for you to call me friend,

to see you be loved by those who would hold you,

if only you could understand,

i want to speak, for you to hear me,

i wish to wipe your tears that you hide so well,

i see the lost and it pains me to be powerless,

do not be afraid,

the truth will bandage your fears,

tears can be shed for light lingers near,

in truth there is freedom,

a luxury for few,

to ground yourself once again,

my hand is outstretched and this arm is getting tired,

time to rest it upon acceptance until you hear me loud and clear,

wipe away the cob webs for i am still standing here,

outstretched it remains,

a friendship so dear,

that i will wait forever even if you never appear,

for i miss the light you bring and the blue skys that you sing,

..its such a sad sad thing i set you free, cuz i can't get you back...



In meeting a new friend I was asked if I had ever been in love, I said yes, once, I have loved a few, but 'In Love,' once, but I was too young to know how to grow together, to communicate and support one another, So yes, I have been truly loved, in love and it was magical, once, but I set him free of me, cuz I didn't know how to grow together instead of apart

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Raw Cacao-Malt


Mom Made and Kid Approved!!! Travinn went coocoo for this cacao treat!!!
Water of 1 Coconut
2 Tbs Cacao Powder
2tsp Agave or Pinch of Stevia
1/4 tsp Vanilla Extract
2Tbs. Lucuma Powder
`Blend until frothy and enjoy yo!!!

Recipes & Shot of the Past



Oh the difference time and knowledge make! Yes that is me now and below, that is me Christmas time at 19, first time I saw this pic was a few weeks ago and I was astonished, holy rolls batman!!! Saw a video of myself that Christmas and realized how big I was, cut out all refined foods and began my journey that led me to my fabulous life or Raw Foods!! I am so happy, energetic, peaceful and pleased with my life and body now, I am confident in the person I am, no longer moody, sad and unhappy. I took control of something I was neglecting for years and I feel so empowered by the choices I make, you could too. I was 208lbs in that picture, not pregnant, just huge. I lost 60lbs through exercise and eliminating refined foods, then during my pregnancy, due to many factors, I gave birth, 22 years old, weighing 232lbs. WHOA Mommy!!! I have lost over 60lbs since then, slowly, but in a healthy way and that is why I share this blog with the world, inspiration is all around us, I hope you find a sprinkle of it in my story...




I can't wait to experience a pregnancy full of healthy foods and happy times instead of stress, refined foods and babysitting a thieving drug addict, one day, it will be fantastic!! p.s. A big thanks to Harvey for loving me unconditionally back in the day!


Oh dear its a Naked Chocolate Monster!!!
Chocolate Coconut Pudding
Meat of 2 Young Coconuts
Scoop of Almond Butter
Pinch of Ginger Root
Half of a Vanilla Bean
Scoop of Cacao Powder
Water- for consistency
`Blend Coconut and water first til you have a creamy consistency then add the other ingredients to the mix and blend away, perfect chocolate pudding!!
*wear on face for extra fun!!

Raw~Slaw Fantastico!!!

So So Easy and Fast

Shredded Head of Cabbage
Shredded Carrot
Ground Pumpkin Seed
Black Pepper
Sea Salt
Olive Oil
Lemon Juice
`mix and allow to sit a while to soak in the flavors

Monday, August 17, 2009

To My Son-Shine
















MY SON IS MY FUN AND THE SUN IS MY SHINE,





WE LIKE TO BE SILLY AND MAKE UP RHYMES,





WE DANCE AND WE SING,





WE GIGGLE AND OUR EYES GLEAM,





WE COULD SPEND ALL DAY IN LAUGH AND PLAY,





NO MATTER THE DATE HE ALWAYS MAKES MY DAY,





MY GIFT MY LOVE,





SENT FORTH FROM SOMEWHERE BEYOND,





I CALL HIM MY SON-SHINE CAUSE HE IS TRULY MY LIGHT,





I LOVE YOU TRAVINN,





THANKS FOR ALL THE SMILES!!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

~Zucchini so Dreamy Pasta Greeny~

Zucchini Pasta w/ Avocado Pignoli Sauce
One of My Favorite & Fast Recipes
Bed of Baby Greens (from my garden, small but tasty)
Chopped Yellow Onion
Grated Zucchini
Sauce
(Process the following together)
Avocado
Pine Nuts (pignoli)
1/2 Clove of Garlic
Dash of Cayenne
Dash of Sea Salt
Dash of Garlic Powder
Water to consistency
(pour over zucchini & devour)
.
.
.
.
Carrot Cashew Ginger Soup

Blend the Following:
1 cu Water
1 Avocado
1 cu soaked Cashews
1 cu Carrots (alternative: use 1 cu carrot juice in place of water)
Chunk of Ginger
Pinch of Sea Salt
Squeeze of Lemon
Cayenne
Top with Sprouts, Tomato, Cucumber & any Other Veggie Your Heart Desires!!