Monday, June 1, 2009

Need For Centering

I am finding myself spiraling sideways into self-destructive behaviors of the past. How easily I am seduced back into my habits of unconscious choices. They leave an emptiness deep inside my soul and I see my path stretched out further and futher away from me.

I allow my mind to stop just shy of depth and return to the form of my former-self. I didn't like the trouble she got me into and I am not willing to go back.

My Sacral Chakra is on overdrive ripping the harmony right out of my body. My green is dimming into a grey and My heart weeps. I used to enjoy the quiet, with me by my own side. Lately I have been escaping it with numbness, denying my truth. Its up and down and I am ready for these waves to die down and surrender to the calm of placid waters. In these waters I will reach out my hand pulling myself towards the light.
I am ready to reunite with her, the me I have been shutting out.
I am fasting for 5 days to purge myself of my ill-emotions and leaving in 12 days to spend some time away from my ordinary to get in touch with myself. Distractions will be laid aside and I can think, without fear, I can be.

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